Things I Love About Kegs

1. they hold massive amounts of beer
2. they can be cleverly disguised as a lamp if need be (place shade on tap)
3. they are "green" (no empties to litter)

1 keg = 58.6738827 liters

I have a weird name.

name meaning attempt #1:

SHANTINA was not found in this database. Names that sound similar to SHANTINA:

CHANDAN m Indian

CHANDANA f Indian

CHIJINDUM m & f Igbo

SANTINO m Italian

SHANTANU m Indian, Hindu Mythology

name meaning attempt #2:
Name not found

name meaning attempt #3:
Your search did not match any names. Please make sure your search query is spelled correctly or try a different query

name meaning attempt #4:
Sorry . ..We have no information on this name.

name meaning attempt #5: (my personal favorite)

Gender:

Female

Origin:

American

Meaning:

The American name Shantina means - a combination of the prefix Sha + Tina they're so wise, i wonder how long it took to research this one...

name meaning attempt #6:
Name not found.

Related names Shantinath

name meaning attempt #7:
You may want to try the similar-sounding names Chandan, Shandon and Swanton. Other similar names are Santana and Santino.

Did you mean: chanting, shunting, shanta?

name meaning attempt #18:

world full of crazies

why is it that all of the crazy people (attempt to) get psychology degrees? how can they possibly understand someone elses problems if their head is up their own ass? For example, my old roommate. what a fucking nut job. career choice: Marriage Counselor. She can't even keep a stable relationship of her own how in the hell is she supposed to patch up other peoples? "Nobody loves me wah wah wah... at least I have my cat wah wah wah." The entire time that I lived with said roommate, I had to check my forehead to see if "complaint department" had somehow been tattooed on it. But, who am I to talk since I'm "negative". well you know what? if I'm such a negative person, please explain to my why your only friend left is Jenny Craig? I have 2 words for you: GROW. UP.

VOTE HATFIELD & JACOBS 2012!

"We'll fight for YOUR right to party!"

When I say "vote" I really mean "write in". Our plan of attack begins with Goldfish and YouTube. Come to one of our Ragers, I mean Campaign Rallies and leave not only a better person, but also with a loving goldfish (if it dies, that's your problem, you've crushed your own dreams dumb ass). Then, we'll move on to more serious matters. Your future President, Mr. Travis Hatfield, will have the Military covered while, your future VP (yours truly) will handle the more pressing matters. You want jobs? well, let me tell you part of our plan. Legalize Prostitution- boom. Jobs. The Hatfield & Jacobs Team will also legalize Marijuana, and tax the shit out of it. Also, our interns will please the President by bringing him Coffee and running errands, not by playing Doctor under the desk in the Oval Office. When H&J take office, we will replace those funny-looking white wigs that are worn in senate with One-of-a-kind Mullet wigs ala Billy Ray. Oh, and Tyra Banks will not be allowed to speak, that's one (5 finger forehead) headache that we can go without. H&J will also bully iTunes until they lower their prices back to 99 cents per song.  Oh, and Chelsea Handler will be Secretary of State. We won't promise you much, but we will promise you a Goldfish. Goldfish and Freedom.

I want Tim to be Chuy's best friend!!

If you watch Chelsea Lately, then you know her assistant Chuy. There is a contest to be Chuy's best friend, and since im lacking the obvious appendages, Im nominating TIMMER! following is Tim's essay (which I wrote, but shh!).

"If I could describe myself in 5 words or less, they would be... Shining Star. I say this because I'm bright and people like to look at me. I'm just a laid back guy, trying to make good life decisions. Personally, I would rather hula hoop during rush hour in the middle of the intersection than listen to Miley Cyrus say 'Whaaaaaaaaaat?' one more time. Man, the things I would do for a mullet like Billy Ray's. Anyway, this tequila's making me thirsty, so I'm getting myself a beer."

MAKE A GOOD LIFE CHOICE CHUY!!

Silver Fox

Noun; An older gentleman who is rediculously good looking, incredibly charming, and makes lots of money. Who also must be living. In other words, they're not hard to look at.

Examples: Bruce Willis, Tom Petty, Denzel Washington, Gene Simmons, Richard Gere, The CSI Character 'Grissom', Nicholas Cage, John Travolta (pre-hairspray), Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Ben Stiller, Will Farrell, Jim Carey, Tiger Woods, Brett Farve, Ben Affleck, Mel Gibson, etc...

Silver Foxes in Training: Brady Quinn, Tom Brady, Josh Hartnett, Edward Norton, Matt Damon, Zac Effron.

All the KOOL kids drink KOOL-aid

why is Kool-aid named such?

Is it because it is KOOL?

When they say KOOL, do they mean Refreshing?

Does drinking Kool-aid make you KOOL? (i hope so!)

Either way, I love Kool-aid. but only the purple and blue kinds.

Things I've Come To Realize

The person that you count on the most will let you down at some point or another.

Don't regret something that once made you happy.

Money, unfortunately, doesn't grow on trees.

I'm slowly turing into my mother, and I finally don't think that's a bad thing.

You're always going to be the Villain in somebody's story.

True friends can be counted on TWO hands, if you play your cards right.

The guys who are completely wrong for you will always make you feel so right.

Complaining will get you no where in life.

You will find love when you're not looking for it.

Your BEST friends are the ones that come back after you've had a fight.

Driving like an idiot in the snow is usually a bad idea.

Chocolate really does have healing powers.

Dwelling on things from the past isn't going to make life any easier. 

If you can't forgive, forget.

coincidence?

Bloody Mary's start with the letter B. So does Bad ass and Beautiful... coincidence? I think not!

Conspiracy?

If Walmart is really the "super center" it claims to be, then why do they only carry five flovors of koolaid there? Somethings suspicious around here.

How To: Spot a Douche bag

Cowboy Hat. You look like an idiot. Unless you're from Texas and you have a tan and a hot accent, DONT WEAR AN EFFING COWBOY HAT!!!!! How can you look in the mirror and think you look good with a stupid cowboy hat on? do yourself a favor and burn it... preferably while its still on your head, but thats not up to me.

Advertising

Great Value. Top Care. ever noticed that the "off brands" have a way of capturing you? is it their prices? perhaps. Or is it a type of subliminal messages? You look at a can of chicken noodle soup and what do you know, it says 'Great Value' on it. then, when you get to the cash register, your chicken noodle soup only costs you .48 cents! wow! what a GREAT value! they weren't lying! coincidence? I think not.

Doing the Dew

Why is Mountain Dew named such?

It it because it tastes like Dew from a Mountain?

Is it indeed Dew from a Mountain?

I guess this is just one of life's greatest mysteries

how to know you probably have an STD

1. your job begins at 11pm and youre named after a city/ dessert
2. if you have a hat trick in more than one fraternity house.
3. your bosses name is lumberjack and he has a big axe
4. you've had phone sex at an early age
5. you do ametuer porn to make extra cash
6. you've walked in on a guy masterbating in a onesie
7. you found a green cat named HPV
8. a pole has conveniently been placed for proper lighting (and dancing) on your corner
9. you talk about sex in a yooper accent
10. if you've ever been done in the bottom while drinking sangria
11. you're a curly headed fuck
12. someone told you they were a slut, and you still slept with them
13. your nickname is Shamus
14. your teeth are whiter than snow
15. you have an unusually high protein level (and you're a vegetarian)
16. more than 75% of you life has been spent on your back
17. you are referred to as a "Frat Matteress"
18. you dont like wearing underwear and unfortunatley have a bad habit of losing your pants
19. you've indirectly slept with 5 or more of your friends
20. you share needles
21. you go dumpster diving behind hospitals
22. you've been asked to bite someone.

Speeding Tickets

Ways to get out of a speeding ticket that I think should work.

1. my best friend is in labor with triplets
2. im going to pee my pants
3. my sister just died
4. my kitten is in the fire!
5. my mom just told me i was adopted
6. im being followed
7. there were bees in my car

Honest to Blog

when do you become a grown up?

-is it when you turn 21?
-or when you have a kid?
-when you get married perhaps?
-are you a grown up when you graduate college?
-or have a real people job?
-when you dont have to pay loans up the ass anymore?
-when you pay your own bills?

what are the benefits of becoming a grown up?
is anyone that is older than me considered a grown up?

reasons to get a puppy

1. they cant talk so, they wont argue with you
2. they cant borrow your stuff and never return it
3. they're always around to cuddle
4. they're very photogenic
5. puppies are easier to love than boys
6. puppies wont cheat on you
7. they're cute and cuddly
8. you dont have to do anything special and they still love you
9. I really really want one

Life and a Can of Beer

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer.A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you torecognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff.If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.The professor smiled."I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."

Off the face of the Earth...

Hate is a strong word. I normally don't 'hate' anyone. but right now, I wouldnt mind it if a certain person would just fall off the face of the Earth. Is it really necessary to throw a fit like a little four year old kid who didnt get his Mike and Ikes?! Come on, your bipolar ass belongs in a straight jacket. To top things off, you shouldnt make our mutual friends choose sides... I'm not! This isnt fair, just grow the fuck up and get over yourself. I dont know if there is anything worse than hate, but if there is, that is the feeling that I have towards you.

I HATE you. and I hope you rot in hell.

My Crackwhore BFF

Jill Seager. yep, I said it. Jill mother effing Seager. She's my best friend from home, and she's actually getting her head out of her ass, and her ass off the streets to come and see me! Lets see if I'm going to remember this weekend... I'm going to have to say no.


on another note, I might have to punch a bitch in the face later.. but for now, I'm going to enjoy my Bloody Mary... Mmmmm.....