Conspiracy?

If Walmart is really the "super center" it claims to be, then why do they only carry five flovors of koolaid there? Somethings suspicious around here.

How To: Spot a Douche bag

Cowboy Hat. You look like an idiot. Unless you're from Texas and you have a tan and a hot accent, DONT WEAR AN EFFING COWBOY HAT!!!!! How can you look in the mirror and think you look good with a stupid cowboy hat on? do yourself a favor and burn it... preferably while its still on your head, but thats not up to me.

Advertising

Great Value. Top Care. ever noticed that the "off brands" have a way of capturing you? is it their prices? perhaps. Or is it a type of subliminal messages? You look at a can of chicken noodle soup and what do you know, it says 'Great Value' on it. then, when you get to the cash register, your chicken noodle soup only costs you .48 cents! wow! what a GREAT value! they weren't lying! coincidence? I think not.

Doing the Dew

Why is Mountain Dew named such?

It it because it tastes like Dew from a Mountain?

Is it indeed Dew from a Mountain?

I guess this is just one of life's greatest mysteries

how to know you probably have an STD

1. your job begins at 11pm and youre named after a city/ dessert
2. if you have a hat trick in more than one fraternity house.
3. your bosses name is lumberjack and he has a big axe
4. you've had phone sex at an early age
5. you do ametuer porn to make extra cash
6. you've walked in on a guy masterbating in a onesie
7. you found a green cat named HPV
8. a pole has conveniently been placed for proper lighting (and dancing) on your corner
9. you talk about sex in a yooper accent
10. if you've ever been done in the bottom while drinking sangria
11. you're a curly headed fuck
12. someone told you they were a slut, and you still slept with them
13. your nickname is Shamus
14. your teeth are whiter than snow
15. you have an unusually high protein level (and you're a vegetarian)
16. more than 75% of you life has been spent on your back
17. you are referred to as a "Frat Matteress"
18. you dont like wearing underwear and unfortunatley have a bad habit of losing your pants
19. you've indirectly slept with 5 or more of your friends
20. you share needles
21. you go dumpster diving behind hospitals
22. you've been asked to bite someone.

Speeding Tickets

Ways to get out of a speeding ticket that I think should work.

1. my best friend is in labor with triplets
2. im going to pee my pants
3. my sister just died
4. my kitten is in the fire!
5. my mom just told me i was adopted
6. im being followed
7. there were bees in my car

Honest to Blog

when do you become a grown up?

-is it when you turn 21?
-or when you have a kid?
-when you get married perhaps?
-are you a grown up when you graduate college?
-or have a real people job?
-when you dont have to pay loans up the ass anymore?
-when you pay your own bills?

what are the benefits of becoming a grown up?
is anyone that is older than me considered a grown up?